Posts

The Miller Report 06192025

Image
  Welcome to Miller's Mysteries blog ,  where the only thing brighter than the sun is the undeniable “cuteness factor” of the neighbor's goats staring longingly at our backyard BBQ!  Our cats have taken on the role of official guards, ensuring no frolicking goats nab our hamburgers. This week, I'm ready for exciting Senior Center Shows, blockbuster AMC movies, and some competitive mini-golf—not against the goats, I promise! Let's just say, if they interrupt my game, their bleating will be my new motivational soundtrack!  Cheers to sunshine and shenanigans! Weather Forecast: Expect heavy showers across the Midwest, as rain clouds have teamed up to form an “inconvenience front” determined to ruin backyard barbecues nationwide.  In a shocking development, scientists confirmed that plummeting temperatures can lead to the sudden appearance of “Freezie Zombies” that emerge when people forget to pay their heating bills. Stay inside, or you may find yourself gaming with...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Miller Report 06122025

Image
    Warm greetings from Miller's Mysteries blog , where each sunny day is just another opportunity for our neighbor’s goats to raise their heads and give us the side-eye! With our trusty cats scoping out the scene, we can only guess what the goats are plotting.       As for me, I can't wait to enjoy the delightful Senior Center performances, some movie magic at AMC, and a fun-filled round of mini-golf. Just don’t be surprised if the goats try to join our dinner at the patio—they’ve been eyeing my nachos! Come on in, the sun is shining!      Weather Forecast: Today's high will reach a blistering 100 degrees, as global warming continues to cook our planet like a microwave burrito.       Meanwhile, astronomers have discovered a new planet, "Despair-9," where inhabitants report a cushy climate of eternal misery and endless paperwork. So, pack your bags for a vacation there—you'll feel right at home!   • Across my Desk!! I...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Miller Report 06052025

Image
  Hello, mystery enthusiasts.  Welcome to Miller’s Mysteries blog, where sunny days bring out the goats for an impromptu neighborhood gossip session! You’ll find me huddled with our cats, peering out the window, trying to decipher their bleats.  Today, I plan to escape to the Senior Center for some engaging shows, followed by a thrilling battle of mini-golf! I hope the goats don't take my winning streak too seriously—it's not my fault their putt-putt game is weak! So grab your sunglasses and join me for some fun in the sun!      • Across my Desk!! I replaced my cat litter box with a FedX box, now when it's full l just tape it shut and put it on my porch for someone to steal. Being a Trophy Husband is exhausting. You've never truly lived until you've had to push your car, then hop in and pop the clutch. A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train. The train driver sees 3 idiots standing on t...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Miller Report 05292025

Image
Greetings and welcome to Miller's Mysteries blog, where the weather is so warm that even the neighbors' goats have decided to participate in our discussions! If you thought they were just here for the grass, think again—they've got opinions about our patio dining options.  Meanwhile, our cats are on constant patrol, judging anyone who dares to walk by. I'm ready to mingle at the Senior Center Shows, catch a flick at AMC, or show off my mini-golf skills. Just don’t tell the goats I’m winning! Here’s a set of six lucky lotto numbers for you:  3, 15, 22, 28, 34, 41. Good luck!   • Across my Desk!! 8yo Grandson: Gramma, I think you’re always making stuff up. Me: Like what, sweetheart? 8yo: Like if we don’t clean our room, a portal will open and suck us into another dimension. Me: Well… that’s what happened to your older brother. 8yo: What older brother? Me: Exactly. 😎✨ Today's astronomy includes a mystery cosmic object bursting with X-rays, SpaceX's Starlink satel...
Post a Comment
Read more