The Miller Report 04032025

 
Welcome to my blog, sunshine lovers! 

The warmer weather has officially arrived, and it’s time for outdoor adventures—unless you’re a cat, in which case the only adventure is watching birds from the safety of the window. 

The neighbor's goats have taken a keen interest in my garden, and I’m beginning to think they might be the real landscape architects around here.

 Meanwhile, my cats are conducting serious surveillance from their lookout post, ensuring no goat goes unobserved. Buckle up for a spring of laughs, mischief, and perhaps a goat or two!

  • Across my Desk!!

They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat about to puke.
Nothing gets you out of bed faster 😂🤢🐱


Some parents run a tight ship. I run a pirate ship. There is some swearing, some drinking, and a touch of mutiny from the tiny raiders I created.



Grand kids: the reward for not selling your kids to the circus during their teenage years. LOL


Cats’ hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other.

A loan at a bank can take 30 years to pay off. If you rob a bank, you're out in 10 years.
Follow me for more financial advice.


A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards.
That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

Shout out to those people who are working hard every day to support their cat's extravagant lifestyle.
 


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  • The Reader
As night fell, the stars twinkled in the clear sky, and the moon cast a soft glow over the backyard. Jack settled into a hammock strung between two trees, a cozy blanket wrapped around him. He held a steaming mug of hot cocoa, the whipped cream melting into the rich chocolate.

 With his tablet propped up on his lap, he opened Mindmyst Tales Blog, ready to explore the latest adventures. The gentle sway of the hammock and the cool breeze created a serene environment, perfect for reading. He grabbed a notebook and pencil, jotting down notes and inspirations as he read. Each story whisked him away to new worlds, and he felt grateful for this peaceful escape.




 • Game of the Week --- your chance to win a prize ... grab your pencil and a bit of paper, and a snack.  Trail Mix: A mix of nuts, dried fruits, and chocolate for a quick energy boost.
    Veggie Sticks with Hummus: Crunchy carrots, celery, and bell peppers paired with creamy hummus.
    
    Spring Cleaning: Sarah is planning a spring cleaning day for her house in April. She has a total of 12 rooms to clean. If she can clean 3 rooms every hour, how many hours will it take her to clean all the rooms? If she starts cleaning at 9 AM, what time will she finish?
    

 • Now, This Week's Exciting Story



The Toaster BBQ

As the sun finally melted the last remnants of snow, Jerry felt a surge of excitement. The arrival of spring signaled the perfect opportunity for a neighborhood BBQ, and he was determined to be the host with the most. He envisioned the laughter of friends, the smell of grilled hot dogs wafting through the air, and the joy of reconnecting after the long winter. There was just one small problem: he didn’t own a grill.

In a moment of desperation, Jerry rummaged through his kitchen and found an old toaster, a relic from his college days. He scratched his head, contemplating the feasibility of cooking hot dogs in it. “How many can a toaster actually cook before it sparks a fire?” he wondered, chuckling to himself at the absurdity of the idea. After all, he had seen some crazy things on the internet, and this could either be a culinary disaster or the next big neighborhood sensation.

With a plan in mind, Jerry set to work. He bought a pack of hot dogs and carefully lined them up on the kitchen counter, each one more inviting than the last. He plugged in the toaster, its metallic body gleaming in the sunlight streaming through the window. With a deep breath, he inserted the first hot dog, pressing the lever down with an air of confidence. The toaster hummed to life, and Jerry watched in amusement, convinced that he was about to become a trendsetter.

Minutes ticked by, and the first hot dog emerged, slightly charred but surprisingly intact. Jerry took a bite, and to his shock, it was edible! Encouraged by this small victory, he loaded the toaster with more hot dogs, cramming four in at a time. The smell of toasty meat began to fill the kitchen, and Jerry felt a rush of triumph. This was going to be the BBQ of the season.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, Jerry’s neighbors began to arrive, drawn by the tantalizing aroma wafting from his kitchen. He welcomed them with a wide grin, proudly proclaiming, “Welcome to the first-ever toaster BBQ!” Laughter erupted, and his friends’ skeptical expressions quickly transformed into curiosity. They gathered around the kitchen, eager to witness the spectacle of hot dogs being cooked in a toaster.

However, things took a turn when Jerry decided to push the limits. “Let’s see how many we can fit in here!” he exclaimed, cramming in six hot dogs this time. The toaster began to sputter, and an ominous smell of burning bread filled the air. Jerry’s friends exchanged worried glances as sparks flew from the toaster, illuminating the dim kitchen. Panic surged as one of the hot dogs exploded, sending a shower of grease and bits flying across the room.

In an instant, chaos erupted. Jerry scrambled to unplug the toaster, fumbling with the cord as his friends shouted warnings. The once jovial atmosphere shifted to one of alarm as smoke filled the air. Just as Jerry managed to yank the plug free, the toaster emitted a final, thunderous pop before falling silent. The kitchen was left in a smoldering mess, but miraculously, no one was hurt.

In the aftermath, Jerry stood amidst the chaos, a sheepish grin on his face. “Well, that was definitely not how I envisioned my BBQ,” he admitted, laughter bubbling up from the group. They gathered around him, still chuckling at the absurdity of the situation. Despite the fiery fiasco, the evening turned into an unexpected celebration of friendship and laughter, with neighbors sharing stories and enjoying the remnants of Jerry’s culinary experiment. As they toasted marshmallows over the glowing remains of the toaster, Jerry realized that sometimes the best memories are made from the most unexpected disasters.




===========SHADOW
Three 150-mile-wide spacecraft are on their way to Earth: observed by HAARP, the space research system.
     Uncover the Mysteries of the Unknown!
    🌌 Dive into "SHADOW: Based On Eyewitness Testimony" by Joseph Miller. Real UFO encounters, gripping stories, and unexplained phenomena await. Are you ready to explore the truth? Get your copy now on Amazon Kindle, paperback, hardcover, and Audible! 🛸🇺🇸️

SHADOW by Joseph Miller
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4Z36PS3



===========AFTER DARK
Dangerous Desires: Embark on a riveting journey with "After Dark," where romance and mystery intertwine. Jack and Emily's quest for answers uncovers hidden treasures and dark secrets that put them in peril. As they brave the unknown together, their bond strengthens, igniting a passionate connection. Can their love survive the trials that lie ahead?

AFTER DARK  by Joseph Miller
Available in Kindle, Paperback and Hardcover
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CTHPSSTQ


============PITCH DARK
A new chapter in suspenseful storytelling is now available! Joseph Miller, the master behind "SHADOW" and "AFTER DARK," invites you to explore "PITCH DARK," a collection of 13 tantalizing tales that delve deep into the realms of mystery and romance. Each story promises to keep you on the edge of your seat, blending heart-pounding suspense with the complexities of love. Don't miss your chance to discover the darkness that lies within these pages.
 
Now available on Amazon Kindle
PITCH DARK by Joseph Miller
https://amzn.to/43WpBl2


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Please visit by my author's page to see what's new.
https://warlockpublishing.com/joseph-miller-author/joseph-miller




============ sponsor

KelDel Creations
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090364412851

Celebrate Handmade Wonders
    Join me at the craft fair to celebrate the beauty of handmade wonders! Each item in my collection is crafted with care and reflects my love for artistry. I believe in the value of unique, one-of-a-kind pieces that bring joy and character to your home. I can’t wait to share the stories behind my creations and connect with fellow craft enthusiasts. Stop by my booth and let’s celebrate the magic of handmade together!

May 3  Bristol Bazaar, Cider House
May 4  Sunday Funday, Camp Sloper, Southington




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Thank you for stopping by!

The early spring roads leading to my home were filled with promise, just as your visit brought joy into my life. There’s something magical about sipping hot black coffee together, sharing moments that linger like the rich flavor in our cups.

The fireplace crackled warmly, creating an inviting atmosphere that made our time together even more special. As we enjoyed hot soup, I felt grateful for the nourishment it brought, both to our bodies and our souls.

I hope your cat is ready to curl up with you, providing that familiar warmth and comfort we all cherish. Until we meet again, may your heart be as full as the spring blossoms outside.


Please do write a comment.  You could, if you dare, ask me a question... Play Stump The Host!

Until next Thursday,    
Happy April !!!

Joe Miller 🍻🍻 🦈️⛳️
If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest? And would it be a parrot, or would it be the cat who secretly judges your life choices?