The Miller Report 04172025

 Greetings, fellow sun-seekers! 
 
 The warm weather has officially turned Southington into a zoo—literally, thanks to the neighbor’s inquisitive goats. They’ve taken to peering into my window, probably judging my choice of snacks. 
 
 My cats, ever the vigilant sentinels, are not amused by this new competition for attention. Stick around for hilarious tales of wildlife encounters, goat gazing, and cats who think they own the place! 

  • Across my Desk!!
 
Born on April 17, 2025, you are a fiery Aries with a flair for dramatic entrances—expect confetti wherever you go! Your Moon in Taurus means you have a deep appreciation for snacks, and your friends will often find you negotiating with the fridge like it's a high-stakes poker game. With Mercury in Gemini, you have the gift of gab, but good luck getting a word in edgewise when you start discussing your latest conspiracy theory about why cats are secretly plotting world domination!


It just occurred to me. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders 🤣

I once swallowed a book of synonyms.
It's given me thesaurus throat l've ever had.

Here’s an idea 💡
If you're cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night. 😅🕹️⏳
https://cfclassic.richdad.com/

People that think they may have been abducted by aliens, May want to consider the CIA considering they had the craft and the mind programme, A no who is a bet on ???👽🙈

by Joseph Miller
https://amzn.to/43WpBl2




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Please visit by my author's page to see what's new.
https://warlockpublishing.com/joseph-miller-author/joseph-miller


 

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  • The Reader
  As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden hue across the living room, Trish nestled into a plush armchair, a soft blanket draped over her lap. A steaming mug of chamomile tea rested on the side table, its calming aroma mingling with the scent of vanilla-scented candles flickering nearby. She flipped open her notebook, the crisp pages inviting her to jot down thoughts as she prepared to dive into the latest post on Mindmyst Tales Blog. With a pencil in hand, she felt a sense of anticipation as she read about mystical realms and enchanting characters. A plate of buttery popcorn sat within reach, the perfect snack to accompany her journey into the whimsical world of storytelling. As she lost herself in the words, the outside world faded away, replaced by the vivid landscapes painted by the blog's narratives. The evening stretched on, each sentence drawing her deeper into a realm of imagination and inspiration.
 
 
 • Game of the Week

A group of students is organizing a tree-planting event for Earth Day in April. They plan to plant 5 trees each hour. If they work for 4 hours a day, how many trees will they plant in 3 days? If each tree costs $25, what is the total cost for all the trees?

In April, a weather station recorded an average of 3 inches of rain each week. If April has 4 weeks, how many total inches of rain are expected for the month? If the average rainfall in March was 2 inches per week for the same 4 weeks, how much more rain is expected in April compared to March?

The local middle school is starting its spring sports season in April. The soccer team has 18 players, and each player needs 2 uniforms (a home and an away uniform). If the school orders uniforms at a cost of $30 each, what is the total cost for all the uniforms? If they receive a donation of $180, how much more money do they need to cover the total cost?



 • Now, This Week's Exciting Story

Out for a Ride

Lisa stood in her garage, sunlight streaming through the open door, illuminating the dust motes that danced in the air. After months of winter hibernation, she finally decided it was time to dust off her bicycle. She had promised herself that this spring, she would ride every day, feel the wind in her hair, and maybe even impress her friends with her newfound cycling prowess.

“Come on, Lisa! Let’s see what you’ve got!” her friend Jenna called from the driveway, leaning against her own bike with a teasing grin.

“Yeah, show us that cycling queen you keep talking about!” chimed in Mark, adjusting his helmet like a seasoned pro.

Lisa took a deep breath and gave her bike a once-over. It was a bit rusty, and the tires looked flatter than her last attempt at baking a soufflé, but she was determined. “I’ve got this!” she declared, her voice filled with bravado.

With a flourish, she swung her leg over the bike and planted her feet on the pedals. “Here we go!” she shouted, pushing off with a bit more enthusiasm than grace. The bike wobbled ominously beneath her.

“Whoa! Steady there, Lisa!” Jenna laughed, her eyes wide with amusement.

“Just warming up!” Lisa called back, though she was beginning to feel less like a cycling queen and more like a toddler taking her first steps. She straightened up, gripping the handlebars tightly as she pedaled forward. The first few moments felt exhilarating—until she realized she had completely forgotten how to balance.

“Uh-oh,” Mark said, his laughter fading into concern as he watched Lisa veer dangerously close to the neighbor’s garden.

“Look out for Mr. Thompson’s gnome!” Jenna squealed, pointing at the ceramic figure with a pointy red hat and an unsettlingly cheerful expression.

Lisa’s eyes widened. “I’m not going to hit it!” she shouted, trying to steer away, but the bike had other plans. It swerved left, then right, and before she knew it, she was on a collision course with the gnome.

“Gnome sweet gnome!” Mark yelled, doubling over with laughter.

With a final desperate push on the handlebars, Lisa tried to regain control, but it was too late. The bike hit the flowerbed with a soft thud, and Lisa went flying—arms flailing like a windmill caught in a storm. She landed in a heap right next to the gnome, who seemed to be judging her with its beady eyes.

“Are you okay?” Jenna rushed over, barely able to contain her giggles. “You just gave that gnome the scare of its life!”

“I think I need a helmet for my ego,” Lisa groaned, trying to sit up while brushing dirt off her clothes. “How did I forget how to ride a bike? I was a pro!”

“Maybe it was all that hibernation,” Mark joked, still chuckling. “You know, like a bear. But instead of foraging for berries, you were watching rom-coms and eating popcorn.”

“Hey! Those rom-coms were educational!” Lisa shot back, finally getting to her feet. “They taught me about love, heartache, and how to make a killer popcorn recipe!”

“Clearly not how to ride a bicycle!” Jenna teased, pointing at the gnome. “You know, I think you might have just started a new sport: gnome dodging!”

Lisa laughed, shaking her head. “Okay, okay, let’s try this again. But this time, I’ll take it slow. No gnomes will be harmed in the making of this ride!”

With her friends’ encouragement, Lisa hopped back on the bike, this time more cautiously. She took a deep breath, focused on the road ahead, and pushed off gently. The bike wobbled, but she managed to stay upright.

“Look! She’s doing it!” Mark cheered, clapping his hands.

“Don’t jinx it!” Jenna yelled, her eyes wide as Lisa approached the end of the driveway.

But as Lisa pedaled down the street, feeling the rush of wind against her face, she realized she was actually getting the hang of it again. “I think I’m—”

Suddenly, her front tire hit a small bump, and she lost her balance. With a yelp, she swerved again, this time heading straight for a bush on the side of the road.

“Not the bush! Not the bush!” Jenna shouted, but it was too late. Lisa crashed into the bush, branches and leaves flying everywhere.

Lisa emerged, her hair a mess of twigs and leaves, looking like a very disheveled forest nymph. “Okay, so maybe I’m not quite ready for the Tour de France,” she admitted, laughing at her own misfortune.

“More like the Tour de Gnome!” Mark joked, and they all burst into laughter, the sound echoing down the street.

“Next time, I’m sticking to walking!” Lisa declared, finally giving up on her cycling ambitions for the day.

“Or at least until you’ve had more practice—and a crash course on gnome avoidance!” Jenna added, still giggling as they all headed back to the garage, Lisa’s bicycle trailing behind her like a reluctant pet.



===========SHADOW
This book is an account of research into the UFO phenomenon. The stories and observations are real as reported. There is something out there, but what is it?  Get it today before the government classifies it!"
Now available on Amazon Kindle, paperback, hardcover, and Audible.

SHADOW by Joseph Miller
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4Z36PS3


===========AFTER DARK
Secrets of the Night: In the heart of the city, a series of bizarre crimes unfolds after dark, leaving the police baffled. Detective Jack Dark, known for his unconventional methods, joins forces with Professor Emily Parker, whose knowledge of the occult may hold the key to the case. As they explore the dark underbelly of the city, they confront forces beyond their comprehension. Will their partnership be enough to bring the truth to light?

AFTER DARK  by Joseph Miller
Available in Kindle, Paperback and Hardcover
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CTHPSSTQ


============PITCH DARK
Step into the unknown with "Pitch Dark"! Joseph Miller, celebrated author of "SHADOW" and "AFTER DARK," brings you 13 compelling tales that explore the depths of mystery and the heights of romance. Each story is a unique journey, inviting readers to discover secrets that lie just beneath the surface. Get ready to be enthralled by plots that twist and turn, leaving you breathless. Look for "Pitch Dark" at Amazon and your local bookstores—adventure awaits!
Now available on Amazon Kindle

PITCH DARK by Joseph Miller
https://amzn.to/43WpBl2 

 

 
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Please visit by my author's page to see what's new.
https://warlockpublishing.com/joseph-miller-author/joseph-miller




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KelDel Creations
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090364412851

Bring Home a Piece of Art
    If you’re searching for a unique piece of art to bring home, look no further! Visit my booth at the craft fair, where I’ll have a selection of handcrafted items that add beauty to any space. From colorful paintings to intricate sculptures, my creations are designed to inspire and uplift. I’m eager to share my artistic process with you and help you find that perfect piece. Let’s make art a part of your life—come see what I’ve created!


May 3  Bristol Bazaar, Cider House
May 4  Sunday Funday, Camp Sloper, Southington


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Thank you for visiting!

The early spring roads welcomed you with open arms, just as my home did. There’s nothing quite like the comfort of hot black coffee to warm your hands and heart after a long journey.

The fireplace crackled softly, creating a cozy atmosphere where we could share stories and laughter. As we enjoyed hot soup, I felt a sense of gratitude for the time we spent together, nourishing our souls as much as our bodies.

I hope your snuggling cat is ready to greet you with purrs and cuddles upon your return. Until we meet again, may your days be filled with warmth and happiness.



Please do write a comment.  You could, if you dare, ask me a question... Play Stump The Host!

Until next Thursday,    
Happy April !!!

Joe Miller 🍻🍻 🦈️⛳️

Quick question
If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be and why? And would you be the kind that gets eaten quickly or the one that sits in the fridge until it’s too mushy?