The Miller Report 09182025
Greetings and Welcome!
Greetings, fellow wanderers, from Miller’s Mysteries, where Southington is serving up sunshine like it’s on special. The goats next door press their noses against the fence, clearly jealous of the cats’ window seats, while the cats look back like they’ve won the neighborhood staring contest. Even the chipmunks darting by seem to be rehearsing for some tiny Broadway show.
With weather this fine, my calendar’s filling fast—Calendar House shows, AMC movies with a bucket of popcorn bigger than my head, and a round of mini-golf at Hidden Valley where my putter doubles as comic relief. And when the day winds down, nothing beats patio dining, where the food tastes better simply because you can eat it in the sun.
• Across my Desk!!
Being in my senior years, I feel very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every single day. π
He's from India, and he's very concerned about my car warranty. ππ
You can’t set a Hallmark movie in the South. Unexpected snow or ice isn’t magical there. It’s terrifying and always leads to no bread or milk - and a fight at Walmart over toilet paper!! π
❄️π
❄️π
As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde woman catches up...
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says,
"Hi – I just thought you'd like to know, you're losing some of your load."
Next red light, same thing! She’s out of breath but knocks again,
"Hi – I just thought you'd like to know, you're still losing some of your load!"
Finally, the trucker races to the next light, gets out, runs to her car, knocks on her window, and says,
"Hi – I just thought you'd like to know… It’s winter in Iowa, and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!"
Why do people carve their initials into a tree?
To answer: I was here, and I mattered.
My scrapbook.
You know when you buy a bag of salad & it gets all brown & soggy?
Cookies don't do that.
BREAKING: NEW 7.4 Earthquake Triggers Tsunami ALERT
Steve Ram
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g5UV3-FxuU
Running into stationary objects can be painful, according to a recent poll.
Be Wary of Speeding Pensioners! π
An old lady, late for afternoon bingo, was driving 65 in a 40 mph zone when a cop pulled her over.
“Ma’am, may I see your license?” he asked.
She calmly replied, “Sorry, officer, I had it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”
The officer frowned. “Then can I see your registration?”
She said, “I stole this car… and the owner is in the trunk.” π³
The officer shouted, “Ma’am, DON’T MOVE!” and called for backup. Minutes later, the Chief of Police arrived with half the squad.
“Ma’am, may I see your license?” the Chief demanded.
“Of course, officer,” she smiled sweetly and handed it over. It was perfectly valid.
“Can I see the registration?” he pressed. She reached into the glove box and produced it- also legitimate.
Finally, the Chief ordered the trunk opened… and it was completely empty.
The woman turned, wagged her finger at the first cop, and said,
“And I’ll bet that darn liar told you I was speeding too!”
• The Reader
Gabe chooses the late afternoon, when the sun slants through his apartment blinds, painting stripes across the floor. He sets down a tall glass of iced tea and a plate of crackers. The laptop hums softly as Mindmyst Tales Blog loads. Gabe pulls out a yellow legal pad, pencil tapping in rhythm with the scrolling words. A line makes him laugh, and he scribbles it down like a secret. The tea drips condensation onto his notes, but he doesn’t care. By the time the story ends, the room feels golden, and Gabe feels like he’s been somewhere else entirely.
• Math of the Week
1. Tent Setup
A Boy Scout troop is setting up tents for a weekend camp. Each tent holds 6 scouts. If the troop has 48 scouts, how many tents do they need? If 2 more scouts join the troop, how many extra tents will they need?
2. Campfire Wood
The scouts need to collect firewood for their campfire. Each scout can carry 8 logs at a time. If the campfire needs 320 logs, how many trips must the scouts make if there are 5 scouts collecting? How does this change if one scout drops out?
3. Hiking Trail Distance
The troop plans a circular hike around the lake at the campsite. The lake’s circumference is 12 km. If the scouts walk at an average speed of 4 km/h, how long will it take them to complete one lap? If they do 2 laps, how many hours will the hike take in total?
4. Cooking for the Troop
The scouts are preparing chili for dinner. The recipe requires 2 cups of beans for every 3 cups of vegetables. If the scouts want to make 24 cups of chili using the same ratio, how many cups of beans and how many cups of vegetables should they use?
5. Backpack Weight Distribution
Each scout’s backpack can carry a maximum of 30 pounds. A scout packs 12 cans of food weighing 1.5 pounds each, a tent weighing 9 pounds, and a sleeping bag weighing 6 pounds. Will the scout exceed the weight limit? If so, how many cans should they remove to stay within the limit?
• Now, This Week's Exciting Story
Backyard BBQ
The smell of sizzling burgers and grilled corn drifted lazily across Molly’s backyard as Rick flipped the last batch of chicken skewers. Summer had settled in like a warm hug, and the string lights above twinkled faintly, waiting for night to fall. Molly wiped her hands on a towel, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips. “I have a surprise for you,” she said, her eyes sparkling with the sort of secret only she could keep.
Rick raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh? Is it dessert, or something dangerously sweet?”
Molly disappeared into the little outdoor kitchenette and returned with a large glass pitcher filled with a golden, effervescent liquid. “Secret-recipe lemonade spritzer,” she announced proudly. As she poured it into their glasses, tiny bubbles raced to the surface, fizzing over just enough to catch the light like tiny fireworks.
Rick laughed, the fizz tickling his fingers as it bubbled onto the table. “You’ve outdone yourself,” he said, raising his glass. Molly joined him, the lemonade tingling on her tongue with a hint of something unexpected—mint? Lavender? A twist of citrus he couldn’t quite place.
As they sipped, the fireflies began their evening dance, blinking on and off like playful little lanterns. The backyard seemed to hum with magic—glow from the lights, laughter from the two of them, and the soft crackle from the grill. Rick leaned closer, brushing a stray curl from Molly’s face. “You always make these nights… unforgettable,” he said softly.
Molly grinned, her hand brushing his. “Maybe it’s the secret spritzer,” she teased, “or maybe it’s just us.”
They clinked glasses again, the fizz sparkling like the stars above, and for a moment, the world shrank to just that backyard, the lemonade, and the first flickers of fireflies dancing into the warm summer night.
===========SHADOW
During an unexpected thermal inversion, a peculiar fog engulfed the townspeople of Torrington, muffling all sound as they stumbled through the thick cloud. Within this surreal blanket, witnesses reported glimmers of light beginning to swirl and pulsate, igniting their deepest fears. They tried to leave, yet the fog thickened, and they suddenly faced menacing figures emerging from the mist. When the fog finally lifted, the townspeople were gone—only the flickering lights danced in silence, a chilling reminder of the horrors that happen when visibility fades.
SHADOW by Joseph Miller
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4Z36PS3
Grab your copy now to explore powerful testimonies that can guide you toward your next big breakthrough!
============Space Tales 2
Dawn promises peace. The sky delivers terror.
Space Tales 2 by Joseph Miller
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FKHGKSL3
Buy a copy now. Begin your next great reading adventure.
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Visit and enjoy my Author Page ππ ♣️❤️♠️♦️
https://warlockpublishing.com/joseph-miller-author/joseph-miller
πππππππππππππ ✨ππ₯π£️π½️πΈπ☁️ π΅️♀️π
============ sponsor
KelDel Creations
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090364412851
Discover the joy of handmade artistry at Kelly's booth during the craft fair! Her collection features unique items that celebrate creativity and craftsmanship—each piece designed to add a touch of magic to your life. With an emphasis on sustainable materials and thoughtful design, Kelly creates with passion and purpose.
Engaging and friendly, she loves sharing the narratives behind her creations, turning a simple visit into a memorable experience. Bring along family and friends to explore her vibrant booth together! Don’t miss the chance to support local artisans while finding something special. Come see what enchanting creations await you!
Southington Farmer's Market
We'll be there again on Sept 19th. We look forward to seeing you again!! Don't forget to ask for one of Joe Miller's great books. It will be autographed.
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• Thank you for stopping by!
Your visit during these last days of summer was a true gift! We loved sharing hot black coffee and swapping stories by the firepit, surrounded by the beauty of nature. It was a reminder that the little moments spent with friends are the richest. Looking forward to our next gathering with some delicious hot soup!
• Please do write a comment. You could, if you dare, ask me a question. If I like it, I'll publish it right here in Miller's Mysteries Blog!
[send to mindmyst@yahoo.com]
Until next Thursday,
Happy September!!!
Joe Miller π»π» π¦️⛳️⛵πΊπΈ️π»π
• Quick question
If you could replace all the grass in the world with something else, what would you choose and how would you maintain it? I’m voting for gummy bears, because who wouldn’t love a candy lawn to snack on? Just be cautious, because rain might turn into a sticky mess!
• weather forcast
September 21: Showers expected in the afternoon, along with a light drizzle of space dust from a passing asteroid shaped suspiciously like Elvis. Authorities warn against karaoke outdoors until it passes. Wear sequins at your own risk.
• Questions from readers:
Q: Joe, are your stories based on real life?
A: Absolutely — especially the ones with pirates, UFOs, and the occasional hot air balloon heist.
Joe, what’s your secret to writing so much?
π Coffee. Gallons of coffee. If Dunkin ever shuts down, so do I.
Joe, how do you come up with your wildest ideas?
π By ignoring the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my own brain.
Joe
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